snowfalling

I don't know how winter wandered into my mind three days ago, since the weather has been struggling between freezing and pre-spring, but the memory of night snow storms came back so crystalline it was friendly.

Living so close to a main road brought the steady music of traffic sounds. When it snowed at night, I would awaken throughout and hear the plows riding by, their shovels scraping the tarmac. Sometimes I would glance out the window, inches from my head, to see how deep it had fallen. Then I'd turn back, and look at you sleeping quietly, hardly aware of the plows. I was glad to be indoors, so close to you, so close to L and C.

epiphany

Thursday it all became clear; funny how such a simple thing can clear the mind.

Your e-mail was aggressive, although you'd never admit to it. My response, I thought, was not, but you saw it another way. It was purely my intention to suggest if you can't stay in NK, I could maybe keep the girls there.

And your words came from left field: that you "will scratch my eyes out if I try and take the girls" was exactly what I needed. In that misinterpretation I saw your true nature.

What did I ever see in you? Potential. Potential that was never going to be realized.