goodbye heathcliff

There was a time when you looked forward to seeing me. Perhaps it was early on in the relationship, those looks and smiles when the person reappeared from work or errands, the happiness of seeing them again.

i know it never faded for me. The worst days at work, a boring meeting, even a fun outing with friends was made better with knowing i would return home to you.

Now it seems that i was obsessed, that Heathcliff and Catherine should stay literary characters and not as an example of what can be when two people love one another.

I need to temper myself for the next one, redefine 35 years of understanding love and no longer point to poetry and music as manifestations of it.

And then there is you, your beauty just silently standing in my heart, your words flowing through the same paths as my blood, and i am saddened more so each day.

God i love you.

one more shard

Because of co-workers talking about their babies walking, not walking, i told them about how long it took L***.

Which brought me to that two weeks we lived with your parents as our bathroom was being re-modeled. She started walking because you and your mother held her in front of one another and let her go until she fell/walked to each of you. That exercise initiated her walking at 20 months.

The image of you holding her as she ran towards your mom in the dining room is so vivid, i cannot believe she is already seven years old.